Dreams
When you talk about dreams, you think of two things, the dreams that are more like goals which are impossible, or the dreams that you have when you sleep.

What Im gonna post here is the dream I had when I slept earlier today. Dreams are usually made from our memories and sometimes our deepest desires, so dreams somehow always seem interesting. But dreams are also sometimes formed from one other thing, and that is our fear. Of course dreams fabricated from fear are also known as nightmares.

Many years ago, back when I was in primary or something, I watched a show about some living doll that kills people, I think Chucky or smth, and had a nightmare after. I faintly remember that dream just cause I was scared like hell back then. I was lying in some black space, I couldnt move much and I had no voice, then I saw the living doll appear a distance from me and my parents at somewhere else close by. The living doll started heading for me, I tried to move but couldnt so I tried calling out to my parents, but of course no voice came out and they didnt notice me..After that I dont really remember what happened, cause it was so long ago.

Sometimes after I sleep for a while, I will seemingly wake up suddenly but be unable to move(this means the entire body, arms, legs and mouth). I require a great deal of mind power to force myself to move and be truly awake. It's times like this I get scared sometimes, I dont really know if its a dream or if I was in reality. Like earlier today, I woke up from my sleep with my eyes half open in my room that was really dark, I couldnt move like I mentioned earlier, then I noticed something across the room...It was a greyish figure, I couldnt quite see anything else of it but it was humanly shaped and was coming towards me..I started to panick a bit and tried to move and make sounds(just sounds, my mouth couldnt move to make words)...But no matter how hard I tried I couldnt move. Till the greyish figure was right in front of me, I forced all my strength to turn over and just managed to move and somehow "woke up". Its kinda hard to explain but all I know is that it was scary.

October
After working on a blog template for so long but still not be able to complete it, I decided to quickly change to some nice skin I found...Yea this means I'll probably change the look in the near future again as well...

I had a really boring holiday with nothing to do but sleep and watch anime..I guess I should find stuff to occupy me..Anyways I dont remember much about this october, didnt have much happening, well besides having been through the first week of semester 2 in school..The modules seem as boring as ever, but honestly, I really like programming, I guess I was born that way haha..

Hmm for my computer graphics module, we had to create a blog just for it..I just didnt like having school work under my blogger account so I made a freewebs one just for it..Though freewebs isnt quite up to standard..Meaning I might have to make another blog just to fix that..

My birthday went as quickly as it came..First it was an early present from my elder sister, a $200+ crumpler laptop bag thats black on the outside and green on the inside...following that was a very super rare once in a blue moon occassion where my friends actually celebrated my birthday a bit, well just receiving a present and having cake is more than enough for me to nearly cry, serious! ..It was on friday 17th Oct, a day before my real birthday..And then on my real birthday, the only thing that happened for me was that my brother bought me one of those small 1 piece cakes, it was good enough...Since my parents didnt do anything at all...To think early celebrations are so much better than the actual date...

I'll love to whine about that for the rest of the post but it'll probably be boring..all my past birthdays have been pretty much nothing anyway..I still dont know if Im actually suffering from depression though...I always act like I dont care, like Im daydreaming, like Im sleepy...but the truth is, Im always thinking about everything around me, I just dont have the courage to face reality, Im probably sad like 90% of the time but I just act all weird and sleepy anyways..Its been this way since kindergarden I guess, though back then I was just all quiet than anything else, I changed to this act at like secondary 3 or 4 i think...

I admit I sometimes get a bit too proud, probably annoys people..there are probably a thousand things I want to say to everyone, but I just can never bring myself to say it..would be awesome if my friends could read my mind...yeah, Im an emotional person. i easily get angry, i easily cry, so why is it that I dont easily get happy? Sometimes I wonder if Im even a normal person...Ah well this post is getting too long, and I gotta get up tomorrow morning so I'll end it here..Please excuse my tendency to write proper english despite this being the internet by the way..